Working Girl

house-heart

 

As mentioned before, I’m extremely sorry for being a naughty blogger (and not the fun naughty…naughty being I should get a tongue lashing from Ben, then have my wrists slapped).

Annnyways, I’m currently at work… just eating some supper (aka: orange, peach yogurt, and a lean cuisine microwave dinner…which is actually kind of gross…but that’s another post!)

Work has been steady, and because I don’t want to be like some famous bloggers who got in deep shit over blogging work gossip, I’ll keep this fairly anonymous!  (and with the confidenciality aspect of working in the hospital, I’ll keep the critical info to myself!)

So, I started off the shift like all other nights… getting to the workroom, taking my coat off, catching up on some gossip, then taking a pager. Now, when you’re a cardiac tech on nights, we carry a pager. One pager covers the emergency room, the other pager covers all of the floors in two hospitals *yeah, in Haliwood, we have two hospitals, which means transporting yourself between the two at ungodly hours!*

I’m on the floors tonight…and honestly, there’s been a lot of pages. I’m starting to wonder if it’s just me. Whenever I work, the floors are busy. Some co-workers are now calling me ‘the angel of busy-ness’. which is A LOT better than another nickname a coworker has (‘angel of death’, whenever she did a cardiogram on someone, they died shortly after…thank God she’s not that anymore!!!).  ANNNYWAYS…. here’s where the good stories come into play.

A couple months ago I got paged to a room “STAT”. When I get a STAT page, that means someone is  (a) having chest pain, (b) are having ECG changes on their monitor, or (c) dying. I have 0-5mins to get to that patient and get the ECG done.

So, I grab my machine and scoot up to that room.

I get there, the gentleman is laying there…all doped up from coming out of surgery…and had his chest exposed. ‘Sweet’ – I said in my head – because when you have to expose someone’s chest to put the electrodes/wires on, and they have a johnny shirt, DAMN it slows me down! So, I walked up to the gentleman, and did my speech, “hi Mr So-and-So, My name is L, and I’m just here to do a quick little electrocardiogram. It’ll only take a couple minutes. I’ll be putting 2 electrodes on your left leg, one on each arm, and 6 on your chest where you heart is.”    I figured, since he was so dopey, that he probably didn’t hear much of what i said, but I go through the speech regardless.

So I start putting the electrodes on, humming a tune to myself, when I see – out of the corner of my eye – his hand move under the sheet. The next thing I know, his hand is moving -rapidly- under the sheet…then moaning sounds start coming out of his mouth!!

OMG

He F–king MASTERBATING! To ME!.

My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe what was happening in front of my eyes, and if it wasn’t a STAT ECG, I would’ve stopped what I was doing, and came back when he was ‘finished’; however, it was a STAT….So I had to muster the strength to get my job done while he was pleasuring himself. And to make matters worse, he was also scheduled for a chest xray, so the XRay tech was standing behind me, laughing himself silly.

So, I held his arm down, finished the ECG, grabbed the electrodes real quick, and as I was walking past the arsehold xray tech, I blurted “have a nice night, he’s not done yet 😉 ” LOL

You had to be there.

SO, this brings me up to tonight.

It’s a full moon in Haliwood…. and the myths about “full moon = mayham in the hospitals” definitely rang true.

It was extremely busy, and I was kicked and punched by a psych patient who didn’t want to be there.

I had to hold him on the bed while the nurse called security, who took their SWEET time getting up to the room.

So as I was holding him down, he decided to kick me (which landed right on my inner thigh…if he had hit me in the babymaker, I’m not sure if I would’ve been able to restrain myself!), he also slapped my hand (which was holding his body onto the bed), then punched me on the chest (DIRECTLY above my left breast).     That 6 foot something man was bloody strong.

… anyways, that was my night.

not the usual night for a cardiac tech, but now an expected  night whenever there is a full moon…..

So, what’s a night at your job like? any interesting moments?

 

ps. picture of House and a gorgeous heart was taken from a Facebook page, dedicated to the show! 🙂

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